Everyone loves a good joke, right? Unfortunately, drummers bear the brunt of many deprecating drumming jokes. Many of them are hilarious, though, and they may just cheer you up when you hear them.
While most bands can’t function without a drummer, everyone loves to make drummer jokes about them. This list of jokes will include many of those. However, it will also include several that only a dad would tell, and they’ll either make you laugh or roll your eyes.
Here we go!
Best Drummer Jokes
1. Did you hear about the kid that told his mom that he wanted to grow up a be a drummer?
His mom said that he can’t do both.
2. Two drums and a cymbal fall off a roof…
Da dum TSHH!
3. What did the famous drummer name his twin daughters?
Anna ONE, Anna TWO!
4. Do you know what happened to the drummer boy that couldn’t stop practicing?
He had to deal with severe repercussions.
5. What do you call that annoying person that always hangs around with musicians?
The drummer.
6. How many drummers does it take to move houses?
Just one. He’s used to having no one offer to help him move gear.
7. What songs does a band play for the drummer to keep in time?
That’s an unanswerable question.
8. How do you get a drummer to stop playing?
Get them to try reading sheet music.
9. Why do drummers struggle to play pool?
None of them can agree on how to hold the pool cue.
10. Do you know why I can tell so many drummer jokes?
There are a Zildjian of them to pick from.
11. What do you do when a drummer comes knocking at your door?
Pay him for the food that he just delivered. Don’t forget to tip, as he really needs the money after getting paid with “exposure” at his nightly gigs.”
12. What’s the biggest difference between a drum machine and a human drummer?
When you pour beer on a drum machine, the beats stop being played. When you pour a beer on a human drummer, they suddenly play a lot louder.
13. An audience member walks up to the drummer after a gig and asks him whether he found their last track to be very threatening.
When the drummer asks why he was questioning that, the audience member explains how the drummer killed it.
14. Did you know that drummers actually have one of the simplest jobs on earth?
They just repeatedly beat things with sticks.
15. How do you know when the drummer has arrived for the practice session?
Everything falls apart, all the songs are counted in wrong, and the girlfriend that he brought with is suddenly more important than anything band related.
16. Speaking of girlfriends, what do you call a drummer who just broke up with his long-time flame?
Homeless.
17. A band is playing a packed gig at a bar, but the singer and band leader forgets what the lyrics are of the song they’re currently playing. He walks to the guitarist to ask if he remembers what they are, and the guitarist shakes his head, as he doesn’t know either. He then walks to the bassist just to get the same response.
When he walks over to the drummer, the drummer replies, “sorry, but what song are we playing?”
18. What’s the difference between a public toilet and a drummer?
Public toilets only have to deal with one bum at a time. (This is one to tell all your friends when they come at you with the drummer jokes.)
19. Did you hear about the drummer listening and playing along to Led Zeppelin tunes?
He dropped one of his sticks in a place where he couldn’t find it again, so he had to switch to playing Def Leppard tunes.
20. Do you know why there are so many funny drummer jokes being passed around?
Drummers are the only band members without temper issues, and they know that singers would make a huge scene about it if they were in the spotlight.
21 An amateur drummer died and went to heaven.
He heard sounds, and it sounded a lot like Buddy Rich playing drums and ripping solos on the kit. When he asked an angel who that was, the angel replied that it was God, and Buddy Rich was his idol.
22. Did you hear about the drummer who finally became fed up with all the rude jokes about him? He decided to learn a new instrument, so he went to a music store to buy a guitar.
He asked the salesman to give him the most affordable Fender available that still had a great tone. The salesman responded to him very confused, saying that they only sold cars there and that the music store was next door.
23. A young man once traveled to a remote island for a camping trip. The whole time he was there, he constantly heard the pounding of drums. He made it his mission to find out where they were coming from and why they wouldn’t stop.
He eventually found a group of native tribesmen playing drums in a circle. When he asked them why they hadn’t stopped playing in days, they explained how a bass solo always comes after a drum solo, and they couldn’t bear the thought of it.
24. Did you hear about the drummer who had impeccable timing and half a brain?
Me neither.
25. A drummer man struggled with his bowel movements, so he went to a doctor for help. He was prescribed laxatives, but they didn’t work, so he went again.
The doctor was confused, so he asked the man what he did for a living. When he said he was a drummer, the doctor expressed how that explained everything. He said, “hey buddy, here’s $20 to buy something to eat.”
Final Thoughts on Funny Drummer Jokes
As you would have noticed, most of the top drummer jokes are aimed at drummers. While it’s not true that drummers are stupid, it’s just a running gag that has lasted decades. It just shows how drummers have the best sense of humor, as they’re very good at taking jokes!
